A DEVOTIONAL FOR OUR COME AWAY VIRTUAL QUIET DAY ON OCTOBER 17TH. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION.
As a pregnant, working from home, mom of a toddler, I often wonder if I’ll ever be alone again. I have recently been able to wake up before my daughter for a couple of days a week and enjoy the early morning silence. I can feel Jesus’ pain as he tried to sneak away just to find the crowds had beat him to his destination.
My daughter is adorable she teaches me things every day, but she is not one who encourages rest, solitude or silence. She wants to cuddle if she’s tired, and she wants to get back down as soon as she’s done with me. We play a constant game of on and off the couch with Mommy.
I don’t want to ramble about life with a small child because I know that is NOT everyone’s experience. I am aware that many of you are in totally different stages of life. A dear friend was sitting on my couch recently, and we were comparing notes on the struggles in our lives. My friend is single and almost 30, (she’s amazing if you have a Christian guy email me his resume). She is struggling through the loneliness of being single and longing for a husband and family. I, of course, am struggling through pregnancy and toddler rearing and being a pastor’s wife. It is different.
She said to me, “Rach, do you remember states of matter (by the way my friend is an elementary teacher)?”
–Blank Look on my face-
“I am liquid and you are solid right now, neither is bad, just different” (me still staring trying to understand her mind).
“You are solid, you can’t change much in your life, you have strict boundaries and ways that your life works, you are not flexible even if you want to be. I am liquid, I can fit into tight spaces, and I am flexible. We are both longing for other states of matter, and we can both see the other person’s benefits”
Jesus wasn’t solid or liquid. But he was fully God and fully Man. And so He does understand the season you are in. Whether silence is easy or hard in your season, Jesus knows and understands.
One of my favorite authors on the topic of spiritual disciplines like silence, solitude, and rest is Ruth Haley Barton. In her book Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, she speaks to the seasonal changes that affect spiritual disciplines.
“One of the great temptations of the spiritual life is to believe that if I were in another season of life, I could be more spiritual. The truth is that spiritual transformation takes place as we embrace the challenges and opportunities associated with each season of our life. This involves honesty regarding the challenges (“At this stage in our family’s life, it is just not possible for me to get more than a half an hour in solitude a day”) and willingness to embrace the opportunities (“Being around small children is teaching me so much about being a child in God’s presence”). Our expectations about ordering our life during different seasons need to take int account what’s real and what cannot be changed; otherwise we set ourselves up for frustration and failure. This is a place for learning how to be compassionate with ourselves, because God certainly is.”
I read this book as a married woman in the city. I used to work as a nurse three days a week and I had four days off. I would spend a whole day dedicated to the idea of Sabbath. Now Sabbath and rest and time with the Lord look totally different, and that’s okay. I encourage all of you to look not only at the restrictions of your state of matter, but also at the opportunities your season provides.
May your heart find peace in where you are, and may your soul find rest in this season.
